Site Meter Vamps and Scamps: What would you do?

Saturday, June 17, 2006

What would you do?

His Royal Love-Child was chosen by the host at eHarlequin for her "Read with the Hosty" book discussion this month. And I've been having a lot of fun talking about it with readers. Adhering to the motto that "immitation is the sincerest form of flattery", I am shamelessly borrowing a couple of her question ideas for you all because we're pretty much done discussing them on the board.

You don't have to have read the book to answer, because it's not about what my heroine did, but what *you* would do in her situation.

In the beginning of their relationship, Danette and Marcello keep it a secret for several reasons, many of which are Danette's. She doesn't want her co-workers to know she's the boss's lover in case they see her differently. She's an intensely private person and hiding her relationship from prying eyes comes naturally. And it excites her at first to have a secret like that from everyone else. But a time comes when it's not okay with her to keep the relationship a secret any longer. My question for you is...could you ever be in a secret relationship, have you ever fantasized about that kind of thing? Or would you hate the need to pretend indifference in front of others?

Okay, second question...Danette's friend (not knowing she's in a relationship and believing she needs to date rather than work all the time) ambushes her with a date at a dinner that's supposed to be just the two of them. Dee's question was: has this ever happened to you? What would you do if it did? Would you leave, letting the guy know you hadn't agreed to the date, or keep the pretense up and let him down gently at the end of the evening? How would you respond to your friend? Would you laugh it off, be angry, a little annoyed, or something else?

I'm really looking forward to hearing what you all have to say as I have a feeling you can get a lot more creative than my heroine. :)



Erin the Innocent said...

I wouldn't want to be in a secret relationship and no no one's ever ambushed me on a date *g* Of course I rarely get out so it would be almost impossible for that to happy LOL

Kelley said...

It is a bit difficult to answer the first question. I also think the idea of a secret relationship could be a bit exciting :) I think I would be ok with it if the relationship wasnt serious, and if there was a good reason such as one being the others boss. That can get a bit sticky. If real feelings were involved, I dont think I could do it if there were real feelings involved(not that I've ever had a secret, sexual, no strings attached, relationship. I just realized how this sounds).

As for being ambushed on a date, it has never happened to me. I think I would be a bit upset with my friend! If I already told her how I felt I wouldnt like her going behind my back when I didnt expect it. I would let the date down easily. It isnt his fault and I wouldnt want to ruin his evening.

Those were fun questions :)
I love stepping outside the box and considering what I would do in situations that I have never actually been in.

Cryna said...

gI would not want to be in a secret relationship, because you would always be looking over your shoulder so to speak and trying not to be found out. It just would not seem right for me.

As for a friend setting me up behind my back, I think (no I know) I would be angry at the friend for having pulled such a stunt, who should have been minding her own business, but on the other hand I think I would level with the guy and let him down gently, as it would not be his fault. I have never been in either situation, but I think that is how I would act.

Fabio has something to say said...

I stumbled across your blog on a search for "fabulous blogs" I know why you are considered fabulous! It looks like we have more in common than blogging!

Lucy Monroe said...

Erin...LOL That's one way to undermine nosy friends...stay in the house. :-D

Kelley...I thought Dee's idea about asking what *we* would do was really fun! I'm glad you did too. :)

CanadianFriend...your answers reflect the majority on the eHarlequin boards too. Seems like most of us would have issues with this stuff. :) But I thought that if the friend was a good one, it would depend on the overall situation before I got mad. Danette, on the other hand, was pretty irritated. :)

Michelle B said...

I don't think I could do a secret relationship. I hate keeping secrets and I don't lie very convincingly, especially when put on the spot. Not only that it would weigh on my conscience (even though it's my own business). If I was in a great relationship, I would want to share it with everyone, especially family and friends.

As to being set up by a friend, I wouldn't be upset in Danette's situation because it would be partially my own fault for hiding the relationship! That said, I might be a little annoyed that I was tricked into a date by a friend even if I wasn't in a relationship.

I'm not sure what I'd do with the guy. I tend to be *really* shy around guys I don't know. And like Erin, I don't get out much. I think my last "date" (which wasn't really even much of a date) was in college. Seeing as I graduated 8 years ago, um, yeah it's been a while LOL.

I tend to put myself in the other person's shoes and ask what I would want someone to do. I'd definitely do what I thought would be least likely to hurt the guy.

Stacy~ said...

I consider myself to be a very private person, so I can see that side of it. But it all depends on what your expectations are. If you're not looking for anything serious, then a secret relationship might be fun, like you feel like you're getting away with something. But once you start to really care for someone, then I think it changes, just like it did for Danette. When you have feelings with someone, the next natural step is to make some kind of commitment to each other, and it gets complicated if no one knows you're involved. And there's a difference between being secretive and being discreet. I would prefer to use discretion instead of keeping such a big secret from people.

Fortunately, I've never been ambushed, though it has been threatened LOL. I also would not appreciate it and I would hope my friends respected that about me. If it ever did happen though, I hope I would be mature enough to be gentle with the guy's feelings because he'd be taking a risk himself.

Kate Davies said...

LOL! Actually, my DH and I started as a secret relationship -- because we worked in the same department, and he was, in a minor way, my supervisor (one of several). Family and friends knew, but not co-workers. We'd go to a city about an hour away for dates, or stay in. The secrecy part lasted for about a month and a half, when I resigned and went back to school. I don't think I could have kept it up much longer than that.

DianneCastell said...

I could never be in a secret realatinship because I'm horrid at keeping details straight. I'd screw it up and get caught. I think it would be fun...I just couldn't carry it off. I love that she almost got fixed up with another guy. Very funny.
Great book, Lucy!

Niny said...

I was involved in a secret relationship once and it really wasnt any fun. Always looking over my shoulder wondering if anyone that knew who I was had seen me. I really couldnt deal with it, so I broke it up. (let me be straight and said up front that he wasnt married and neither was I, it was a really delicate situation at the time) As for the set up date, I was cornered like that once but it paid off at the time, we ended up dating a couple of months. Of course that was a million years ago!! LOL I guess your reaction to that situation will depend if you are involved with someone or not, but I would not be rude to the guy, its not his fault that he was put in the middle of the situation.

Kelley said...

I'm glad your out there on that limb with me Stacy! I thought I was going to be the only one who thought a secret relationship might be fun, if it wasnt serious. I was feeling a bit embarassed:)

Lucy Monroe said...

Michelle...see, I'm afraid I'd be the ambushing type friend. I've never done it before, but you gotta be glad you live in another state right now, huh? ;)

Stacy...I think that's what I pretty much said on the board, that I thought it could be fun. For a while. LOL

Kati...I'd forgotten that (if I knew it)...I think you did tell me once about the dating in a different city thing. :)

Dianne...thanks! And LOL on not being able to keep the secret. I could so see doing that myself, slipping to the worst possible person or something. and Kati both had secret relationships, huh? See, real life is *always* stranger than fiction. LOL When someone says something I've written is so unbelievable, it's usually the one thing I've based on real life experience. :)

Nah, Kelly, you aren't strange at all. I think there are a lot of people who think the thrill of secrecy would be fun for a short time. I thought about it and decided I would have fun with it (if like Kati and Niny there was a good reason for it that did not involve one or both parties being in another relationship), but like Dianne...I'd probably blow it. LOL

Hugs to all and thanks for sharing!

LadyB said...

Hello! :oD
I don't think I could do a serious secret relationship. Inevitably, the more quiet the secret is kept, the bigger the blowup when it's revealed. Yes, I'm a very private person, but the fallout from the potential 'revelation' would be more intimidating to me than general knowledge about the relationship.

As for the date ambush, people I consider close friends know better, lol. I can't imagine any scenario in which this happens and I am NOT temporarily estranged from a friend. My first impulse would be to pull the 'friend' aside and verbally tear off a strip. I'd then tell the gentlemen (who's fault this is *not*) that something had come up and I had to leave, and "perhaps another time." Yep. I'd be lying like a cheap rug, but at least he wouldn't be embarrassed in front of everyone. *g*

That sounds really mean, doesn't it? But I truly have a very low tolerance for meddling (comes from having a meddling mother) and I do not respond well to it, lol.